Why The Photo Radar Debate Is Misshapen

Photo radar reduces speed. Photo radar doesn't reduce speed.
Physical police presence reduces speed. Physical police presence increases speed immediately after an issued ticket.
Photo radar makes roads safer. Photo radar doesn't make roads safer.

There are studies and anecdotal evidence to prove all of the above. All can be right. Circumstances, times of studies, bias, too scientific (?!-- this particular argument is baseless, but made, so I'm including it,) not scientific enough: all are arguments waged against studies that don't favour an individual's or a group's view of photo radar.

Some people, as my "local"* paper has noted, are so opposed to photo radar that they are joining together to locate photo radar, then respond by positioning themselves physically in advance of the photo radar, holding signs to warn drivers to slow down.

We actually have such signs already. They are called speed limit signs. There are also signs informing drivers of locations that use photo radar. Posted below are examples:

We're required to understand what they are and why they exist in order to get the most base level of driver's permit, the learner's permit officially known as the Class 7 Learner's Licence in Alberta.

In case anyone has been licensed long enough that they've forgotten the reason we have speed limits, the information is prominently displayed on the Government of Alberta's Transportation landing page.  If time does not permit following the link, here is the reasoning behind speed limits:

Speed limits do not indicate the 
maximum speed drivers should travel. 
They are the maximum speed permitted 
when conditions are ideal. Any speed 
that is unsafe for the current conditions is 
illegal.

My partner sagely pointed out that sometimes, a driver speeds for reasons they perceive to be legitimate. Our system has an opportunity for that to be explained. Tickets received via photo radar and tickets written in person by a Traffic Enforcement Officer provide a court date when the ticketed individual or ticketed owner of the vehicle (depending on which applies) can argue their case.

The fact remains that speed limits are limits and they are laws.

Do people make mistakes and drive far enough over limits that they get tickets? Absolutely. Does everyone who has ever received a speeding ticket cause a speed related accident? Obviously not. Our population would be decimated.

But why should breaking the law, whether a mistake or by intention, not have a consequence?

In what other circumstances of legal infraction do we shrug our shoulders and say, well, it was a mistake, no harm, no foul, carry on?

Speeding causes accidents. Consider the following statistics: (2014 was a good year, other years had higher occurrences; to placate people who might argue I chose worst possible scenario, I specifically did not select Alberta's worst year for speed related collisions and fatalities.)

In 2014, 25.0% of total fatal collisions involved one or more drivers indicated by the police as having been travelling at a speed too great for the given conditions.  (328 fatalities means 82 people were killed as the direct result of speeding.)
5.7% of total collisions in 2014 involved unsafe speed.
Of all drivers involved in fatal collisions, 15.9% had consumed alcohol before the crash. (328 fatalities mean 52 people were killed in collisions involving alcohol consumption. Note that neither impaired driving or charges of impaired driving are the determinants of this statistic, simply consumption of alcohol.)
Of all drivers involved in injury collisions 3.3% had consumed alcohol before the crash.

I offer these statistics to demonstrate that speed is a factor larger than alcohol consumption in the number of driving fatalities in Alberta. Also of note is that the majority of speeding tickets issued, by photo radar or in person, are at rush hour.

Distracted driving statistics are not available in large part, because drivers don't admit to distraction at the scene of an accident. However, when distracted driving has been ticketed in non-collision circumstances, the following is the breakdown of distractions:
Outside object/person/event — 29.9%
Adjusting radio/CD — 11.4%
Other vehicle occupants — 10.9%
Something moving in the car — 4.3%
Using another object/device — 2.9%
Adjusting car's climate controls — 2.8%
Eating/drinking — 1.7%
Cellular phones — 1.5%
It follows logically that distracted drivers fail to notice speed limit signs.

To return to the argument though, should speeders be ticketed by photo radar? Is it fair? Is it a cash cow?

My answer to all three is YES.

Driving is a privilege. Speed limits are laws. Numerous accidents and deaths are caused by speeders. If photo radar is a cash cow that helps generate revenue for the government so they can pay for the emergency vehicles, health care required for injured drivers and passengers, repair of public property damaged by accidents, where is the problem?

Arguments that photo radar is a cash cow are probably true. Of course, if you don't speed, you won't get a ticket, so you won't be a "victim" of a cash cow.

The irony of those objecting to photo radar, like Jack Shultz (who also has vehicular stunting tickets under his belt,) the organizer of the "activist" group in the newspaper today, is that they want more police officers on the road to prevent speeding, distracted driving... all instances of driving infractions. Where exactly do they believe the money to pay for such a massive increase in police presence will be found? A revenue source or "cash cow" that catches speeders is pretty intelligent revenue source; find the money wherein the problem lies.

More photo radar is an intelligent solution to Mr. Shultz's concern; it raises funds allowing an increased police presence.

Those of us who make an occasional mistake, miss noticing a speed limit sign, will get an occasional ticket. When we are speeding just a bit, the ticket is lower; there is an algorithm to the speed in excess of the limit applied to the fine accompanying the ticket. Driving is a privilege, not a right, and when we make mistakes there are consequences.

Chronic speeders? They'll get more tickets. They can feel pleased that their intentional speeding (ignoring limits is what makes them chronic) is helping fund all the costs associated with speed related collisions and more officers on the road.

As for drivers who think they know better than the surveyors, engineers, and physicists (the professionals who evaluate roads to determine speed limits) and therefore believe they can drive the speed they want, (with no evidence, just their "superior instinct" about speed and safety,) they shouldn't have received driver's licences in the first instance. The driver's licence is issued to individuals who have demonstrated they are capable of the act of driving and of complying with motor vehicle laws.

Believing oneself to be above the law and to act in overt, intentional defiance is to be a vigilante.

I cannot imagine ANY other area of criminal law in which there would be popular support for individuals to make their own decisions about what should be.

In short, I don't care at all if people think photo radar is a cash cow. If you don't want to get a fine; don't speed. It's that simple. If you get a ticket, be an adult and admit you made a mistake. We all do sometimes.

*There is nothing local about the paper; it is owned, operated, and the majority of the content created by a single entity that owns the vast majority of papers in Canada. A scant few pages are dedicated to local content produced by a scant few local journalists.

Chicken Wire Stolen From The Bowels of Caragana... BAFFLING!

A new, incomprehensible, theft from our yard: the chicken wire running through our caragana. Not sure what anyone would do with it. It's hard to imagine a use for mangled chicken wire in an urban context; it's also hard to imagine a use so desperately required that a person would endure the pain of crawling/climbing inside very dense caragana to be scraped, cut, jabbed, possibly impaled by some of the hedge that's exceptionally old, jagged, and sharp. I'm flabbergasted that anyone would go through that trouble for something I just can't imagine being useful. The chicken wire would be damaged by the extraction, possibly and probably to the point of inutility. There's not a lot of mischief-style property damage that happens here either, not of the sort that would be a lot of work, anyways. We have the ongoing issue of people coming and going from the dog park and not picking up their dog poop, garbage being dropped as people walk by, fast food packaging from A&W and KFC, both less than a block away, tossed out windows of cars who've stopped beside our house while the driver eats, then carelessly tosses the detritus out the vehicle window. Most theft is pragmatic, need-based.*** So... chicken wire. Not a big issue. Unless you can't use your back door due to deck construction, so you let your lovely Ruby dog into the front yard to pee, believing the yard is secure... and, of course, she leaves. Thank goodness she went to the dog park down the street. That was a few LONG minutes of panic. The other direction is two extremely busy roads and one of the high accident intersections in the city. ***Like the shovels stolen which the individuals had in hand, (they are distinctive in that they were not a matching pair, a new blue shovel and an older black shovel that I'd broken and hastily repaired with neon pink duct tape) when they returned to our house offering to shovel for a fee. I should add that we didn't hire them to shovel but that I understand thefts of necessity wherein people need items they can't afford to be able to earn money. I simply said, "We'll shovel when we've replaced our missing ones, thanks... and you're welcome." The man looked a bit sheepish, but I think we both understood that that I wasn't calling anyone to report anything and that he had not registered that it was the house from which the shovels were taken (pre-rainbow gate era-- our house is now, especially due to social media shares of photos of it by Sarah Hoffman(politician) and Ryan Jespersen(radio personality)-- very recognizable due to the gate having achieved its own level of local celebrity.)

Confused.

Death and absolution of all. All I heard was of a selfish man. And everything so WHITE. 

Murder of Disabled People in Japan

The killer said he wanted disabled people to cease to exist. My children are disabled. I am disabled.

He has stabbed 35 people. 19 have died.

Those people had a right to be alive. Disabled lives matter.

This scares me. I know we are deemed inferior and sub-human. Murder? That's worse than the eugenics we have been subjected to, as a group.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/japan-deadly-knife-attack-1.3694642

My heart bleeds.

STOP THE HATE. STOP THE VIOLENCE.

Black Lives Matter.

I cannot comprehend the people who argue that the movements #BlackLivesMatter, #DisabledLivesMatter, #LGBTQLivesMatter, as well as other marginalized demographics whose lives matter, mean all lives don't matter.

All lives SHOULD matter. The whole point is that certain lives are treated as if they do not. It does NOT mean other lives don't matter.

People who cannot comprehend that discrimination happens and thereby devalues lives of entire demographics of people are part of the problem.

Yes, all lives matter. But if you're hung up on that to the extent that you can't understand why marginalized people are asking to have the value of their lives acknowledged, you are living in blind privilege.

Racism exists. Sexism exists. Heteronormativity exists. Ableism exists. Classism exists. Religious intolerance exists. Elitism exists. Gendernormativity exists.

Please stop saying all lives matter. It shows your ignorance of the struggles marginalized people face. Everyone ought to know that all lives matter by default.

Out society does not treat all lives as if they matter though. THAT is the point of the #BlackLivesMatter movement, a movement that black and African-American people have generously allowed other marginalized groups to borrow (some of which I noted above.)


CBC Story on Black Lives Matter

Are you fucking kidding me???

http://edmontonjournal.com/storyline/patio-killer-sues-legal-aid-lawyers-alleging-bad-advice

Richard Suter got away with murder, literally, after killing a TWO YEAR OLD and taking the advice to not blow a breathalyzer. 

He killed a TWO YEAR OLD.

Everyone present said he was drunk, smelled of alcohol, but he refused to blow on the advice of a lawyer, bad advice, because it's illegal not to... But it meant he was not convicted of murdering Geo. He got a conviction for not blowing (infinitely less significant, obviously) and now he stands to make $600,000???

This is beyond outrageous. Our judicial system is fucked.

This man is human shit. He's never expressed so much as regret for killings toddler. He should be in jail for life and in work detail cleaning prison bathrooms with his tongue.

Give me audience, media.

(Writer taps on microphone repeatedly.)

Me: Is this thing on? Hello media outlets of Canada and the US! I'd like to address a major problem in your reporting.

(Writer steps to front of imaginary stage, addressing audience.)

Me: Friends, North Americans, and global citizens, lend me your ears.

Our media, our North American media, does not report what happens in the world without bias. The news outlets ignore what happens to people in countries that are not dominated by white people. Our news is racist and religiously prejudiced. Huge focus stays on events in countries deemed "like ours" as if Canada and the US (and the countries whose news gets reported here) are free of the scandal and government corruption making other countries deemed "not like us."

Not everyone in North America is white. Shock. Not everyone in North America has European heritage. Shock. In fact, Canada has the highest percentage of foreign born citizens in the world, one of the highest immigration rates, and immigrants from Asia account for more new immigrants than any other demographic region.

Yet the news we receive is weighted heavily towards domestic events (excluding news about FNMI people, whose abuse, murder, racist attacks are vastly under-reported) and European events to the exclusion of the rest of the world. Unless, of course, the news event affects "people like us" (ie. white people of European descent.)

Right now, CBC has as its World News headline:
Police say Munich gunman who killed 9 had no apparent links to militants

Right now, the BBC has as its World News headline:
Death toll in China floods passes 150

Through the BBC, news of an attack in Kabul has killed at least 80 people and injured more than 200.

Neither of these stories are present on CBC AT ALL. Why?

O judgement! thou art fled to brutish beasts,

And humans have lost their reason.

Racism and prejudice are fundamentally unreasonable. Yet why else are we not told about events unless white Westerners are involved or "can relate"?

I am outraged at the blatant disregard for news assumed of no interest to an assumed white readership. I am outraged by the systemic racism in Canada and the US. I am outraged at the lack of outrage.

I have a million more things to say; I could fill a book with my reasons for anger at the lack of news coverage of people dismissed by the media, people "not newsworthy." This is just a blog post. A fast, angry, blog post. 

My heart is in the coffins there with the dead, unacknowledged by this continent

And I must pause till it come back to me.

From USA Today.

On point. Exactly.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2016/07/20/turkey-coup-islam-erdogan-sharia-sultan-caliphate-crackdown-democracy-column/87344676/

Turkey's new sultan: Glenn Reynolds-- READ IT!!!

Turkish Dystopia. Take: Lost Count.

Recep Tayyip Erdoğan vowed that "all the viruses within the armed forces will be cleansed."

"This measure is in no way against democracy, the law and freedoms," said Erdoğan Beyefendi.

Oh, and remember, the Armenian Genocide didn't happen. There was no State of Emergency then, when 1 million Armenians were not ethnically cleansed. Atatürk  said it didn't happen. And so it did not. It's a crime against Turkishness to say otherwise.

How many millions will Erdoğan not kill as he cleanses viruses? 

THESE ARE FUCKING HUMAN LIVES!!! 

Why, why, WHY is no one asking why the President in a Republic calling the shots??? He leads the executive branch, not the Government. The leader of the nation in Turkey is the Prime Minister. Their political system is modelled on the French Republic-- a replica of structure.

The President in this structure is equivalent to the Queen in the UK and in nations like Canada that have a constitutional monarchy. It is a nominal position.

So how the hell is this happening?!?!?

Why is that not being asked???

Erdoğan hasn't been Prime Minister since 2014.

Or was it 1984, DoubleSpeak-Beyefendi?

I propose the bullshit honorific "Beyefendi" be changed to "Acımasız Diktatör" (Ruthless Dictator.)

Acımasız Diktatör Tayyip Erdoğan, Allah İslam'ı istismar edenlere nefret. Dürzü. Hain.

I lived in Turkey

I have friends in danger. I am afraid. My son was born there. It took 14 months for Canada to grant him citizenship; he has rights to no other. 

I have friends who cannot leave. 

I don't want to compromise the safety of any who have been able to get emails through. Things are FAR worse than reported in the media. There a few safe havens; my friends may even be saying those places are safe to avoid suspicion. 

Turkey was scary when I lived there. Erdoğan is not the leader of the country. He was when I lived there. He is not now. Yet he has taken charge. This is precisely the reason a coup was attempted. The military is supposed to prevent politicians from straying from the tenets of the Republic. The last coup involved criminalizing Erdoğan's Islamist, non-secular party. He was banned from politics. He weaselled his way back in. AKP is all the same people of the party deemed criminal in the past.

How long before he starts slaughtering students as at METU (Middle Eastern Technical University) again? 

This is what a ruthless dictator looks like. He ignores the rules. He puts the death penalty back. He gets the US to get on board. (John Kerry is processing the extradition order of a man repeatedly found not guilty of Erdoğan's accusations (always Erdoğan, always.)

The US won't compromise their military bases or nuclear facilities. Complicit in the purge of more people than in Galveston, Texas (entire population plus) Kerry is offering lives in exchange for military access to the Middle East. As if Turkey isn't a corrupt regime in the Middle East. 

Obama made his first international visit as President to Turkey. He's been on the phone with Erdoğan today, ensuring maintained diplomacy. 

Is there ANY place that isn't power hungry?!? ANY nation that will stop Erdoğan?!? Will ANYONE put lives first????

I'm horrified and terrified.

Erdoğan has fired 24,000 teachers, 9000 police officers, 3000 judges, every Dean at every university, 1577, 15,000 academics... He's revoked the right to broadcast from 24 television stations in the country.

Freedom of speech? Nope. Freedom of expression? Nope. All the academics in the West wiping their brows ought to be fighting for their peers in Turkey. 

Meanwhile, my friends who live where I lived, friends with state universities, friends unaffiliated with education but who cannot leave the country (only tourists can) and the non-Erdoğan supporters live in fear for their lives, their children's lives.

Türkiye bozuk. Hiçbir cumhuriyet var.

Impactful: NOT A WORD!

In the last year, I've heard the word (not-word) "impactful" used, mostly by social workers. Lately I've noticed it's use becoming more prevalent in other areas. I've seen it in PUBLICATIONS.

Impactful is NOT a word!!! It may have become the "orientated" (I still cringe) of the last decade, but at present it is not in the OED. As a language purist who enjoys coinage, I cannot get on board with "impactful." Why? It ignores the logic of suffixes. The addition of "-ful" to "impact" does not create the meaning that "impactful" has developed colloquially.

As noted by Grammarist, an online resource for simple English language grammar, spelling, idioms, and linguistic paraphernalia, "the suffix –ful means full of, and impact is not a quantity and hence can’t fill anything." Grammarist mistakenly argues "–ful also means having the quality of,"and "impact bears the secondary sense the power to make an impression, [sic] and such power can be a quantity." This argument falls flat because the suffix "-ful" is not, as asserted, limited to quantity or quality. In fairness, Grammarist is attempting to counter arguments against the use of "impactful" on the basis of the meaning of "-ful;" however, the argument fails to examine the breadth of meanings of "-ful." The argument is not fully formed and therefore an insufficient dismissal of "impactful" on the basis of the meaning of the added suffix. (A quick Google search offers many more meanings for "-ful," all of which ought to be explored before dismissing the dismissal of "impactful" as a word on the grounds of suffix.)

Grammarist resigns itself to "impactful" entering our cultural lexicon, like it or not, without offering an argument of its own against the improper construction and use of the word. Though implicitly agreeing with detractors like myself, arguments against "impactful" are reviewed and debunked, albeit poorly, landing, as previously mentioned, with a shoulder shrug, an acquiescence.

As I mentioned, I enjoy coinage. New words delight me. They must, though, adhere to the rules of  the language in which they appear, notwithstanding the adoption of words from other languages- a murkier area into which I will not wade right now.

Impact is a noun. Impacted is an adjective. Impact is not a verb; colloquially it is used as one, yet that usage seems less offensive to many than "impactful" as an adjective.

Impact, the noun, is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as: 
a. The act of impinging; the striking of one body against another; collision. Chiefly in Dynamics, in reference to momentum.
b. fig. Now commonly the effective action of one thing or person upon another; the effect of such action; influence; impression. Esp. in phr. to make an impact (on).

Impacted, the adjective, is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as:
1. a. Pressed closely in, firmly fixed.
 b. Applied spec. to fæces lodged in the intestine (cf. impaction n. 2); also transf., applied to (a part of) the intestine when so blocked.
c. Applied to a bone fracture in which the broken parts are driven together so as to become locked.
d. Applied to a tooth which, owing to obstruction by another tooth or by bone, fails to erupt properly and remains partly or wholly within the jaw-bone.
2. a. That has impinged upon or struck something.
b. That has been struck by an impacting body; also fig. (U.S.) of an area: affected by a larger demand than usual on public services, esp. schools.

Impactful is not an entry in the Oxford English Dictionary, a living, breathing dictionary that adds new words regularly, purporting to be descriptive not prescriptive. Yet "impactful" is not an addition.

Impactful, the sometimes adjective, sometimes adverb, as used colloquially and as defined by online sources (not appearing in legitimate dictionaries,) is defined as: having a lot of power and influence.

The word does not adhere to the meaning of its root. Why does this matter?

In a nutshell, "impactful" is not an acceptable coinage because it defies the rules of English.

For anyone who prefers pop culture answers to those more snootily studious (I don't deny the snobbery of my objection to "impactful," "orientated," "irregardless"; I do assert the correctness of my objections,) the fabulous Urban Dictionary offers these top two excellent anti-definitions:
impactful
A non-existent word coined by corporate advertising, marketing and business drones to make their work sound far more useful, exciting and beneficial to humanity than it really is. This term is most frequently used in "team building" seminars and conferences in which said drones discuss the most effective ways to convince consumer zombies to purchase crap they clearly do not need or even want.

impactful
Something that conveys significance. 
I.e. utter marketing gash, its [sic] words like this that make society bad and help meaningless marketing plebians [sic] ascend the rungs of their pointless evil careers and step on anyone creative in their path. For shame marketing ... for shame.

Oh, Urban Dictionary, I want to kiss you hard on the mouth for the exquisite impact of your definitions!

CORRUPT

Erdoğan is the President of Turkey. This is NOT like being President of the United States. It is a nominal title. He is illegally running the country. The Prime Minister is the country's political leader.

Erdoğan is corrupt. He was party of the Islamist Welfare Party, declared illegal, because Turkey is supposed to be secular; the party espoused openly religious, conservative views and laws. It was declared illegal and he was BANNED FROM POLITICS.

He created a new party, AKP, same shit, different name, and same agenda.

He will and has killed so many people. At the same time as the attacks on İstanbul Atatürk Havalimanı, he banned Pride celebrations for the 2nd year in a row and imprisoned 47 people for speaking against the ban.

He tear gases non-violent protesters.

And he, a nominal figurehead, declares a coup failed and the world accepts it.

Don't be complicit. Demand he be removed for HIS crimes against Turkishness, real crimes, the murder of political opponents (helicopters being shot down is far from a new occurrence,) the bribing of desperately poverty-stricken people, the institutional abuse of people with disabilities (abuse beyond what a Westerner who has not been beyond North America, Western Europe, tourist Asia-- locking up in orphanages, no medical assistance, no education, prisoners.) I've seen people crawl the streets of Istanbul missing limbs, invisible to the general public who've been informed of the sub-human status of the disabled.
He kills. He will do anything for power. He has taken a nominal position and removed the Prime Minister, the actual leader...

This man is evil. Question anything that is reported via Turkish media. He controls it. He shuts down the internet if he thinks he can't. 

Anıtkabir

Scary. Shit. This. World. France. Turkey.

24 hours.

One country in which I lived has had another mass casualty attack. (France)

One country, in which I lived many more years, is undergoing a coup. (Turkey)

I can't say much more. I'm near tears.

Starving people everywhere, all over the planet. Dying people everywhere.

The blood. The pain. The hate.


Here, the rain just fell so hard we could barely see across the street. The thunder shook the house; the lightning forked in unison.

The tears I am crying are heavier. This world. This world.

I want the world to stop. ~ Belle & Sebastian

Wrong Response

As people of colour grapple with increasing fatal violence directed at them, we have an MLA, a person of colour, who said on the radio, "I'm not an American black person; I decided to be more appropriate."

Is there any response but to reel in horror from a comment like that, whatever your colour, if you believe the violence against people of colour is wrong and disproportionate? (It is.)

He went on to say he'd never experienced racism and speculated that it was he can pass as white.

David Shepherd, you don't pass as white. You have done a massive disservice to people of colour north and south of the border with your comments. The live, on air gasp from Portia Clark (also Canadian, also black) is edited out of the podcast of the show.

Reakash Walters commentary on racism that followed Shepherd's dismissal of it was infinitely more intelligent, informed, and not whitewashed.

That she did not win the political nomination and he did is astonishing.

I'm proud to have campaigned for and voted for her. Him? Glad I did neither. (I couldn't vote for him; I don't live in his riding.)

Yes, I am a white person commenting. I admit my privilege in being able to do so. I see a man who has more privilege than he recognizes by a long shot, a man who failed every person of colour in his constituency with his thoughtless comment.

Racism is real.

Bubble Tube...

Anyone have a spare $1500 so we can get this for J?

http://www.flaghouse.ca/Sensory-Solutions/Snoezelen-MSE/Bubble-Tubes/Portable-Bubble-Tube.axd

If you know...

If you have my contact info, you know how to find me.

If you don't?

Photos, as I edit them, of Pride 2016 Edmonton

Just part of my FABULOUS family

No gas

All over the city, our gas stations have no gas to sell. 3-5 weeks until we're expected to get some. Fort McMurray, while you are getting yours for free and buying copious amounts of alcohol, will you consider thinking of those of us who supported you, donated to you? Most of you have homes to walk back into a jobs to walk back into. Our unemployment remains high, we have lost access to gas, and no one is giving us help. As you go back to insurance covering your losses, jobs that, in many cases didn't stop paying you, and had free accommodation, food, entertainment, will you think of us? Will you think of the people here who have never had a home, don't get support, and have nothing to go back to because they are treated as human garbage; you're people middle class Canada can relate to-- most of you have lost things psychologically but not materially. Will you return the gracious welcome and economic support to the homeless here? Will you? Or are the critics right? Many of you have come out richer and are basking in it. I hope not. I hope you see how help swarmed you and respond in kind.

Pain

Every day more bombs drop. Figuratively. The world fails my children over and over and over. I can't understand how it can happen so often. I am not sure how to cope. I need to cope to support them. I am beaten down. Out of ideas. And the attacks on them keep coming.