Sunday, November 2, 2014

Weighing in on Jian Ghomeshi

Not a long post. I will say this.  I saw him take a girl too intoxicated to consent to his room. She spoke openly about having had sex with him the next day. Whether she considers it rape or not, being held up to walk is drunk to the extent that consent cannot be given.  More, he was not.

I talked to people about my disgust with him at the time.  I got "consenting adults" responses.  Too drunk to walk is too drunk to consent, by law, whether a barely adult girl is starstruck or not.

One incident witnessed two and a half years ago is hardly a conviction for all that is emerging in allegations now.  But it makes me prone to disbelieve his defence of his sexual activities being always consensual.  I suspect Ghomeshi doesn't actually know what consent looks like regardless of his Facebook post.

If any good can come of this, may it be that men in Canada, and men watching around the world, pay more attention to consent and why it matters.  If not because they care about women, at least because they want to avoid Jiangate scenarios.  Preferably because they care about and respect women though.

And of course, consent in all sexual relationships should be considered thoughtfully.  It's just that we know statistically that men are more likely to rape (i.e. not seek consent) women than are any other sexual coupling demographic.


  1. I realize posting a comment in response to nothing is a bit gauche; nonetheless, I am doing it. I am commenting because as more and more women and men come forward (10 I last heard) not ONE person who has had sex with him has come forward to say, yeah, it was violent but consentual. That speaks volumes. My hope is that the men in this country and abroad, learn, as a city councilor and I discussed on Friday, how enormously important consent is and how not getting it means there can be no concept whatsoever of what the other person(s) are experiencing.
    Jian Ghomeshi, in his refusal to accept responsibility and decades of sex offence perpetration, is clearly a man with significant problems. I hope that our government, instead of berating CBC for what it could not have known, realizes this moment for what it is-- a time to start providing preventative services (no opting out of sex ed in schools and thorough education about sex, not religious values about abstinence)

  2. that cover safety, consent, homosexual, heterosexual, multi-partner, and sex in all iterations so people KNOW and can be intelligent and mindful in their choices. I also hope they start funding rehab for people like Jian and full recovery treatment (medical, psychological, whatever is needed) for the victims of people like Jian.