Amazing. It's the little things and the big changes.

Today my boss called me amazing. It might seem like a little thing, but she's something of a hero to me. A woman who has been fighting for the rights of queers like me and families like mine for almost 2 decades; the most determined, dedicated, and powerful provincial level politician, having become the longest sitting Opposition MLA in Alberta's history and having been the catalyst for positive, feminist change in that time. So, coming from her, that made me feel special and good. Keeping in mind as well that, at my last job, I had a boss who was such a homophobe (I don't know why she hired me, to be honest; we were in grad school together so she knew) that she couldn't once bring herself to utter my partner's name, though she did rounds in our department every morning, asking about people's families. When she stopped at my desk, faced with photos of my two bio children and two step children, my partner and me, she could barely contain her discomfort, usually managing to stammer out a question about my evening or some such. She did her utmost to make my family invisible. In that job I got the workplace in the news multiple times for initiatives I'd initiated and undertaken, I spoke at several conferences, I published regularly in a review journal, and I made it into one of the most prestigious journals in our field for innovation. But at my performance review, she wanted to talk about my "excessive" use of sick time (which was less than the time allowed) because of my children's specialist appts. (Other staff in the dept did bare minimum and exceeded sick time, with her consent.) It was suggested I file a human rights lawsuit against her... but I just wanted out, away from a person so hateful and ignorant. I could list more that she did; the lawyer I spoke to said it was an easy win case, but it would take time and energy and frankly, she'd stripped me of that. So I quit. My mental health was more important; my family was worth more. I spent some time figuring out what to do. I loved the field I had gone to school to work in, but most positions in the field were either not compatible with the predictable scheduling needs of my bio kids (they have autism, as I've said, and need routine in a serious way, a way I believe should be respected) or they were jobs I didn't want to do (I might be trained to do Records Management for an oil company with an MLIS, but doing such a job would be as soul-sucking as the one I had left.) So I waited. And waited. And then the job with the politician I most admire came available. And I babbled nervously through what might have been my worst interview performance to date (most stellar would have been the phone interview I did that landed me the job in Toronto back in 2004 when I had built a website to guide my interviewers visually through some of the questions that were less easy to do by phone, and I had them mooing and quacking and laughing with me...) But I ended up working for her through a few twists of fate. And now I get to do some amazing things, be part of some amazing things. And today, I got told I was amazing by someone I have always thought is amazing. It might have been one of the best Christmas presents ever (though she took us to The Nutcracker Unhinged as a Christmas gift and that was pretty great too.) 2014 has been a trying year in many, many areas of my life, of my family's life. But work? It's the best job I've ever had (and I've had some amazing jobs with some inspiring people, the above mentioned aside) and I am so grateful, not just that I get to do what I do, but who I get to do it with. Yes, my politician boss who is a superstar is wonderful. I also get to work with three other amazing women. For a while with a ridiculously fun and wonderful man who I affectionately call my work husband or my beard, depending on the context. I have a feeling 2015 will be more amazing, whether the word is directed at me or not. Things are on an upturn. Despite the horrific state of provincial politics right now, I think we'll see better in the year ahead. And I'll get to continue working in an amazing office with amazing people and use the word amazing and FABULOUS as much as I want with as much gayness as I like and I will be valued for it. That, my friends, is fucking amazing. (I am too, too tired to proof read this, so my apologies for spelling or grammar errors, run on sentences, or any other writing missteps.)

Thanksgiving 2014

I have a wonderful American wife(ish.)  We're not hitched because neither of us believe in idea; we are life partners raising amazing kids together.  Today, we celebrated American Thanksgiving in the style that, as we often wonder, makes us curious why reality TV producers aren't chasing us down for a contract.

We're both sick.  She with a nasty cold.  Me with a flu.

I locked myself out of the house on the first blizzard of our winter season and had to drive on very treacherous roads across our excessively sprawling city to retrieve one from one of the aforementioned wonderful kids at his school.  This, with two hungry kids in tow and a friend who I haven't seen in months.

On arriving home, one wonderful kid who is having some struggles right now bit the friend, who had kindly brought him some snacks to get him through the monumental car ride which coincided with the time he expects lunch.

Prior to locking myself out, I flushed my family ring (birthstones of ours and all our children, one of the few important material things to me,) down the toilet.  Of course, I realized too late.  After I'd locked myself out of the house.

I also had the far from pleasurable experience of sitting down at my computer to input orders for a fundraiser at our daughter's school, only to have a bed bug crawl out of an order form.  I do not think I can fully explain the panic or trauma of this.  I killed it.  And found another in the order.

And then of course, our increasingly conservative, deceptive, immoral government, via the most recent awful Premier, Jim Prentice announced he was thwarting a very important Motion brought to the Legislative Assembly to protect sexual minority and gender variant students in schools.  Of course, he didn't have details.  Just that instead of protecting vulnerable students he would make it possible for them to go to court if they are discriminated against.  Wait times on Human Rights Tribunals are currently over 2 years.  So IF someone has the strength to fight a legal battle AND the money to do so, s/he can. He'll add sexual orientation as a right to the Alberta Human Rights Act--SOMETHING THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE WHEN SEXUAL ORIENTATION WAS ADDED TO THE CANADIAN CHARTER OF RIGHTS AND FREEDOMS IN 1998, a decision made based on a case that occurred IN ALBERTA. And Stephen Mandel, former mayor of my city, stood by his side in support, showing all he ever did when in mayoral office was offer lip service and try to gain votes through his Pride involvement.  All sickening.  All aimed at undoing the work of an MLA who actually cares about people, not about being a politician, and put months and more hours than can be counted into producing a Motion that would help some of our most vulnerable students.

But it's Thanksgiving and though I managed to have one not so positive as I may have liked, I have a lot to be thankful for.  And thankful I am.  I am thankful that I have a wife(ish) who loves and supports me.  I am thankful to have four great kids who are (biting aside) filling the world with a whole lot of positive.  I am thankful to have a friend who could forgive a child who bit her.  I am thankful for friends who work through difficult times with me and offer support.  I am grateful that I have potable tap water, a home to live in, two cats to cuddle, healthy, nutritious food to eat, and the opportunity to work for that MLA who never lets up, always keeps up the fight for what is right no matter what the Conservative throw her way.  I am grateful for so much privilege that I took for granted before I lived in the third world: the previously mentioned drinkable tap water, less pollution than so many places, and enough mental health to keep going in this world and keep trying to change the wrongs... for these and many other things I am thankful today.